2 posts tagged “relationships”
Loving means sharing.. EVERYTHING.
Or is it really? Are there still lines that should remain uncrossed? The bathroom door, perhaps?
My bff, Erin, spends the night in my apartment whenever she and her husband have fights. I’m used to seeing her at my door either crying or swearing about her husband. But her latest unsolicited sleep over a month ago gave me the shocker of my life. They fought over their bathroom.
She said that she had the last straw when her husband left the bathroom in a colossal mess. The toilet seat was like a mummy wrapped in tissue paper, the soap was floating in the tub, the shampoo caps and toothpastes were all unsealed, the hole was full of hairs, and cigarette butts were all over the bathroom tiles. She said that this has been going since the day they got back from their honeymoon two years ago. In her rant and stress, she actually thought of leaving him.
She came back in my place just this past weekend and was beaming happily when she told me that they have built two bathrooms in their house. She ecstatically told me a mixture of zen-like insights and practical benefits on how having separate bathrooms brought back the romance in their marriage.
1. There is an increased respect for one’s sense of space
We all know that besides love, respect is essential in sustaining relationships. A sense that you still have something you can actually call your own even becauseyou know that if you ever get a divorce he’ll get half of what’s yours, unless you have a pre-nup.
2. Your own bathroom gives the perfect avenue for emotional release.
Aside from the obvious "releasing" we all do in this area of the house, having your own bathroom from your partner can provide healing activity with privacy.
3. The sense of separation gives an air of mystery and excitement.
There’s a tingling feeling when you visualize what’s behind the other room where your partner is usually half naked or totally naked besides your bed.
4. You don’t have to be stressed over your partner’s mess.
With your own bathroom, you don’t have to experience migraines over what you’ll see after your partner goes out of it every morning. You don’t have to wake up earlier than your partner just to get into the bathroom first.
5. Your bathing hours need not to be cut short.
If you’re one of those who spends at least an hour taking a bath just like me and Erin, then having a separate bathroom is the most ideal for you.
I’m still living alone so I don’t have a problem with sharing. But then again, it all depends on the couples. Some can share and eventually compromise and make changes to each other’s bathroom habits. In the end, either you stuck to one bathroom or built another one, if you really love each other, you’ll meet halfway. The bathroom really made Erin mature. Believe me, she can be really shallow at times. By the way, Erin and her husband are now carrying a gift from the stork.
Couples who can’t stand each other even for just one day have the courtesy to put a very understated reason on the divorce papers, irreconcilable differences.
Currently not in a relationship right now, or married for that matter, but I had my unfair share of heartaches through my years on this life. Maybe there are people who are cut off for a “coupled” life, while some are destined to love solitude for all time. Enough about me.
Let’s admit it, even how painful and soul-wrenching a split up is, at the end of the day, a single nerve in our brain transmits a message that it was all for best, that you had to be apart from that person and that you are a little relieved and one day, we’ll wake up with bouncing smiles. But then again, regret is something we’ll all feel along the way because the happy ever part is over, at least with that person.
So, what drives couples to breaking up madness? But before you go on, I have a disclaimer, I’m talking about men and women in general, so, it doesn’t mean that if you’re a man that you’re guilty of these things, same goes for women. Well, if you are guilty, then, that’s your story.
1. Men don’t apologize while women can’t let go
Generally, this is the case why relationships falter. Men tend to talk little and just keep quiet and don’t want talks that last more than at least five minutes. On the other hand, women tend to hold on to a lot of stuff. All of us can shut up for a while but when something triggers the emotions, we burst in a way that men can’t stand the tension anymore. Maybe both can just make way for each other, you know, men can say sorry not only with gifts but with a little apologetic speech as well, while women can let little things go as long as they have been resolved.
2. Couples tend to focus on the negative
We are all guilty of this. Unfortunately, there comes a time that we unconsciously turn a blind eye to the good things and concentrate on the bad for it is better to cite the bad ones, to some extent. Maybe we can all go back to the dating days when appreciate the little yet sweetest thing our partners do for us.
3. Bad timing
This is something that is inevitable. It’s like we’re busy all the time and can’t be disturbed. Maybe we can be more intimate by hugging each other more. Hugging increases oxytoxin, the happy hormone. That way, timing won’t be a problem anymore. I mean, there’s really no good timing. A bad news will always be bad news, same goes for the good ones.
4. Partners either talk too much or too little
Looks like there’s never balance, isn’t it? But then again, we can never talk moderately right? Maybe the key is to solve this is to let each other talk first instead of talking simultaneously like there’s no tomorrow.
Eye openers
Ah, maybe stones will be thrown instead of bread. When all these things happen, breaking up isn’t that hard to do and the easiest road to travel. It all depends to the situation. Have posted the reasons not to point blame but to open realizations and learn from them. In the end, let's all love one another to achieve world peace.
